Dear Future,
When I was little, I spent a fair deal of time outside. We had one tree in my backyard that I liked to climb. It wasn’t a big tree, but there were enough branches that every time I climbed it, I had to choose which paths to take. It terrified me, because I’ve never been a fan of heights, but I did it anyway. It felt good to do something that scared me. One afternoon when I was about 7 years old, I was on one of my fear-conquering expeditions in that tree. When I had reached the highest branch possible, I sat on my perch and looked around me. I saw all the other branches I could have been sitting on, had I made different choices. And even at the tender age of 7, I realized that today’s decisions affect our future. When I explained this to my mother, she looked at me, a little surprised, and told me that I sounded like a philosopher. I asked her if there was any money in philosophy. A girl’s gotta have her priorities. But in all seriousness, even though I’ll never become a professional philosopher, the mental discovery of that day has stayed with me always.
As we grow and age, we choose different paths with distinct goals and desires attached to them. This is, of course, the nature of life and there’s no way to avoid it. One problem that I have encountered, however, is that it is far too easy to forget the the person I was in favor of the person I am today. I don’t want to put blinders on; I want to always think of the other branches I could be sitting on, had I chosen a different path. And so, in an effort to never again forget who I was, I have created a snapshot of my mind and heart, as they are today. I hope that future snapshots will not differ too greatly because I like this woman. And I’d also like to think that someday, I will be able to look back on these words with my children or grandchildren and remember who I was. And so, for this reason, I present this as a list to my future self and to future generations.
——
Always Remember
Look not just with your eyes, but also with your heart.
Have no fear of mistakes, but never make the mistake of not learning your lesson.
Climb mountains, but don’t create them out of molehills.
Know the rules, but break a few along the way.
Don’t be ashamed of your tears, unless manipulation is their goal.
Choose your actions wisely, for the end never justifies evil means.
Try not to make another love you, but focus on your love for yourself.
Anger is righteous, but belittlement and revenge are never so.
Think quickly, but speak slowly and choose your words wisely.
Embrace new ideas, but not at the expense of your values.
Love deeply and with abandon, but take care to never lose yourself in someone.
Value your friends, but do not take them for granted.
Favor not one extreme or the other, but take all things in moderation.
Know that you are not always watched, but act as if you were.
Aim high, but realize that failure to meet a goal is human.
Appreciate your rights and privileges, for not everyone can claim to have the same.
Live each day as if it were your last, but believe in your heart that it is not.
——
I don’t always live by these values; I’m not perfect. But to put forth these thoughts — to immortalize them, insofar as the Internet can do such a thing — is to make them more permanent. Because I like permanence. I want to hold myself to these thoughts because they’re important to me.
What’s important to you?
Quite a long list to think on…and I can’t find much to quibble with here. I too had a tree — OK, I had a bunch of trees (I lived in a forest). I can’t say that when I was young I had the same epiphany that you did, but I can say your list rings true for me now. Thanks for sharing it.
Hey Jerry, welcome to gringuitica.com!
I lived in the suburbs where trees were few and far between. It was a beautiful area though, and I loved it. Besides, as I said, I was mostly scared of trees and wasn’t a big fan of the scraped knees I inevitably got from the rough bark…
It’s funny, though, how some lessons and impressions from childhood stay with us. This is just one of them: every time I remember this story, I can feel the realization wash over me, just like when I was seven. It’s pretty amazing, how the mind remembers.
I love the tree analogy! I’ve been thinking about choices and their impact lately too. Luckily my most recent big choice turned out to be one of the best of my life.
hey girl,
i know you’ve been waiting for me to comment on this, so i’m sorry for the lateness. the metaphor you’ve presented us with is beautiful. i want to cut out the always remember part and glue it on my wall. you should paint it with a boarder of flowers and print postcards. i’m not being sarcastic. i know whatever choices you make you’re going to go far. you know what you want, which is something that i am jealous of.
elle.
hi erin … good stuff here. howevah, i must quibble with
Love deeply and with abandon, but take care to never lose yourself in someone.
after all, what is true love if it’s not losing yourself completely to another? true love IS abandoning yourself … true love is something that just takes control of you … then you’re like a runaway train (hopefully one that doesn’t crash into something) …
hope you’re doing well.
p.s. on twitter yet?
very nice post … glad to know i’m not the only one who did the same kinda thing …. altho i blame that on reading sci-fi from an early age!
I was afraid of heights, too.
And the only thing to conquer it was to practice, practice, practice…so like you, I climbed trees. Isn’t it so exciting to gain a new perspective? To constantly grow?
Anna, welcome to gringuitica! How wonderful that your recent decision was a good one… it’s great to bask in happiness!
Elle, pfff! You make me sound like a comment seeker. Heh. Anyway, I’m glad you liked the Always Remember part. I had fun thinking about them & writing them… do you have any of your own?
Dado, I have to say I disagree. Loving someone is completely different than losing yourself. I have lost myself in someone before, and it’s not good. In my opinion, the happiest couples are those who are a couple and also have two separate identities. If you are nothing but You & Your Significant Other, then you have forgotten who you are. Don’t you think?
Ender, welcome! The Internet is great at helping us find other like us, no?
Estarla, welcome as well! And I don’t think it matters how much I practice certain things, I’ll always be scared. But I’ve grown used to that and I get a bit of an adrenaline rush every time I do something that terrifies me. And I agree with you: when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone, we do gain perspective, something which is both exciting and wonderful.