I don’t want to lose you.
I was really into quotations when I was younger; I had books of quotes, I stalked quote websites, and every, single paper I wrote in high school started with a quotation if I could get away with it. I amassed hoards of quotes that I liked to apply to my life. One of my favorites, in my more romantic moments, was the following:
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.
I found these sentences so profound. What a great spin to put on it: even when we lose someone, the silver lining to our cloud of pain is that they will be with us always. But then, I’d never lost someone. Now I know: those aren’t footprints, they’re footstomps. When we love someone and they leave, for whatever reason, we hurt. Our heart aches. And the fact that we are forever changed — “never, ever the same” — makes it even harder.
I feel like I’m losing someone. And it makes me miserable. I’ve opened up to him and we’ve been such good friends, but something is wrong. Our relationship is broken and we don’t know how to fix it. We’re too close to each other. Or I’m too close to him, I guess. I need to step back from our friendship, but I don’t want to lose him completely. I want us to be friends, even though I don’t know how. But after someone has footprinted our heart, how can we wipe the footprint away? I don’t know if it’s even possible.
I suppose this is why it’s so hard for exes to remain friends: there is so much history, so many emotions, so many thoughts. Once a relationship — any kind of relationship — has escalated to a certain level, it’s extremely difficult to walk back down the stairs to a less intense place. And this is my conundrum. I’m floundering and confused and the person I want to ask for help is the one person I can’t ask. But I guess that’s part of the process, right? You have to relearn how to interact. But if I may be childish for a moment, I’m just going to say that it sucks. Big time.
…Karina, você sabe que eu sou sempre aqui para que você a falar a.
Yes, I am in the mood to practice Portuguese today.
Obrigada, Troy. É lindo saber que você sempre esta aqui para que lhe fale. Já sabe que eu lhe amo, irmãozinho! (I think.
)
Justo como me siento ahora!
qué hacer!
I’m much too lazy to whip out a language translator to understand the above but I’m sorry for your hurt Erin, hopefully things will work out. I’ve always been lucky by having a good relationship with my ex’s, perhaps you’ll have the same in the long term.
Thanks, Chris.
Although, let me be clear, the above-mentioned friend and I are just that: friends. Not exes. But when good friends break up, I think it’s probably as hard, if not harder, than when you break up with a significant other. You never think you’ll break up with a friend…
aaaaawwww. mi amor. no te preocupes. su pongo que este mejor ahorita, pero no sé exactamente sobre quien estás hablando.
Woman. Yes you do!
i found this page by accident since i was looking for information about my “terruño” (i’m costarican myself), but i must tell you that i loved your comment above; i know that the thought that inspired it was “doloroso” at first, just remember time heals all wounds.
p.s. there is a great book to read in those situations it’s called “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson.
God Bless You