The Fragility of Life
I’d been thinking about expanding my small family for a few weeks, as Coco the kitten has grown so strong and healthy that he wants to play all the time. Big brother Ender, his senior by almost five years, does not find his games at all amusing and kitty spats often erupt in the middle of some concentrated writing. Mommy Erin doesn’t find this amusing, either, as ruined concentration spoils paychecks.
My vet, bless her heart, always seems to have cages upon cages overflowing with kittens looking for homes. Every time I pass through, whether for a checkup or just to buy some food, I take a look at the latest litters and play with them for a few minutes. Last week, I fell in love a beautiful black long-haired kitten. At three months, she was big enough to play with Coco, but young enough that I thought the current kitties wouldn’t see her as a threat.
As fortunate as I have been, I rarely take time to stop and just appreciate all that I have in life. While I may not be rich or beautiful or famous, I have thus far lived a life filled with mostly happiness. 
But it’s easy to take things for granted, isn’t it? When we become used to having, say, a roof over our head, we often cease to realize how lucky we are to have it. But little Tiara hadn’t had anything in life, and therefore didn’t take one thing for granted. Her green eyes lit up at the sight of the cheapest toy, even a piece of string. She almost tiptoed around the house when she first arrived, unable to believe that this was her new home. And every, single time you so much as touched her, she turned on a purr that was audible from several feet away (a definite feat for one so small).
We realized immediately that something was wrong with Tiara, though, as she couldn’t keep food down and seemed to lack the energy you so often associate with kittens. She slept a lot the first day and tired very quickly after a literal game of cat-and-(toy) mouse. We coaxed and begged her to eat and play, but all she wanted to do was sit on our laps, snuggling in deep, purring away with happy dreams. She was content.
We took her back to the vet and over the next three days, Tiara shared her time between my house, the vet’s office, and the vet’s home. She had a low temperature and couldn’t seem to get herself to eat. This morning, the vet called to let me know that poor baby Tiara had passed away overnight, too weak to fight whatever ailed her. Unable to consume calories, she essentially died of starvation.
Though I only knew her for a few days, I loved my little kitten. She was sweet and unassuming, beautiful and loving. Though I’m not what you’d call religious, I’d like to believe that Tiara is now somewhere that has no pain or suffering. And though her time may have been short, I find it so moving that she was able to be so thankful for what she had, no matter how small. She was able to smile through her pain and see the good. Animals can certainly teach us lessons in life, and Tiara’s seems to be that we can have fortitude of character, no matter how weak and fragile our body. Be thankful for what we have, instead of wishing for something we don’t.
Goodbye, Tiarita. You will be missed.
Yes… thanks Tiara for the nice moments we spent together!!
Gracias por todas las ganas de vivir que tuviste a pesar de estar muy enfermita!!
Que descanses en el cielo de los gatitos, we will always miss you!!
FABI
That is sad - I can totally relate to the feeling as we got a kitten 3 months ago and we were in love within days. It is easy to overlook all the wonderful things in our lives. I’ve spent much time over the years ruing this or that but as time goes on I’m realizing how wonderful my life has been. And the best lessons have come from my 2 children (both under 5) and our cats.
I’m so touched by this post. Poignant and profound.
Aw, how sad.
I’m glad she was able to be loved during her short life–the compassion you showed her was invaluable. Rest in peace, Tiara.
I’m sorry to hear about the kitten Erin, I’m sure you can find Coco another friend to play with if you so desired it. Just a word of warning, don’t become “that cat lady”, it doesn’t do much for your public image =D
@Fabi: Sí mae, muy enfermita y mejor donde está ahora.
@Arp: I don’t have kids yet, but I do agree that some of the best and most profound lessons have been learned from my animals.
@Jean Paule: Thank you!
@Esther: Yes, it’s sad, but as you said, she had some good moments towards the end, and she seemed to be happy. That’s what counts.
@Chris: I won’t become “that cat lady.” I love kitties to death, but it’s definitely a healthy, non-reclusive love. I have friends, too!
Someone once told me that the threshold for becoming a ‘cat person’ was 3 cats. We’ve had 4 for ages, though we were down to 3 for 6 months after my old cat died. I do think we’re Cat People, tho. Years ago we were interested in moving to Spain. We had no kids, no careers, nothing really tying us down… except for our cats. Who we couldn’t bear to leave in quarantine for a month while we galavanted around, eating tapas and living large. So the Spain idea was scuttled.
Haha, well, I’m certainly a cat person! When I was little, my best friend was my cat. He was a little girl’s dream and let me dress him up in doll dresses, strap him into the stroller, and take him all over the house. A very tolerant, sweet boy.
However, I think Chris was referring to the stereotype of the old cat lady who has no human friends, but instead has 20 cats roaming around the house. I will never be that, because I just love people too much.
My landlady and her daughter, who live on the same property that I do, has 16 cats (and three tiny kittens that they’re taking care of until they’re old enough to be adopted). Whenever a malnourished, homeless kitty wonders onto the property, they adopt him, neuter him, care for him, and love him. Though 16 are a lot, they are able to give each cat exactly what he needs and its evident how much each one of them worships his caretakers. There’s something to be said for the unconditional love of an animal.
I took our little one (named Rikki Tikki Tavi) to the vet yesterday, and the vet is definitely a cat lady. She has 12, doesn’t have people over (hence no rabies vaccinations) and was very keen on advising me that we need ‘1 more litter box than cats.’ I’m guessing she uses them as end tables?
so sorry you lost your kitty. we don’t have kitties here - son and husband are both allergic. we had them in key west, they were outdoor kitties and so fun! you did a good thing loving tiara. the world is a better place for it.
Indeed Erin, I was referring to the stereotype of the crotchety reclusive old woman who lives in an apartment that smells of mothballs and kitty litter and rarely sees the light of day or makes contact with another human. Think that’d be rather hard to do down in Costa Rica but we’ll see how the events pan out.
@Arp: Eek. My vet loves animals, but she’s a very well-adjusted individual, as well. I prefer her that way.
@Saratica: It’s ok, I guess it’s the cycle of life. And as you (and others) have said, at least she was love for a little while.
@Chris: Thanks for the vote of confidence regarding my future.
Erin,
In case you change your mind and do want to become a cat lady, here’s some inspiration (be sure to play the video):
http://englishrussia.com/?p=1199
That’s sad, what a gorgeous little kitten she was. It always sucks when pets die.
My cat’s reached that age where all he wants to do is play, and since my former flatmate lost my other cat he’s only got me. Sucks to be him.
I think when I get back from a short trip later this month I’m going to have to investigate getting a second cat for him to play with.
Anyway this is my cat Tonto. His new trick is destroying rolls of toilet paper all over my bathroom.
@Arp: Those cats are simply adorable, but the mere thought of scooping a litterbox used by 130 felines is enough to make me crazy.
@Ben: Coco, my youngest, is at that age, too. I fear he will always be at that age. So do the rest of the people that know him. Tonto is adorable!
She looks like she was precious. Rest in peace little kitty.
I love the noise made when those cats jump all over the place. We have a lot of feral cats in our ‘hood and they are all utterly adorable.
@Victoria: Thank you. I think she is in peace now.
@Arp: I love almost everything about cats (except the litterbox), but sometimes even my three get on my nerves. When Coco, my youngest, runs around like a chicken with his head cut off, sometimes my nerves just fray to the breaking point and I realize that, yes!, three are enough.